M-Alice in Wammy-Land
by BBs Evil Little Sister
Summary: Matt's smoking again, and Mello's looking for him. But when he finds him, well, life is turned upside-down!


M-ALICE IN WAMMY-LAND

A BBS EVIL LITTLE SISTER FIC

WRITEN BY AKUMU BIRTHDAY

I DO NOT OWN DEATH NOTE

"Matt? Where the bloody chocolate hell are you!?" Mello yelled as he walked through the halls of Wammy's House, looking for his red-haired roommate.

This was the third time this week the gamer had disappeared. It was starting to get annoying, in the blond's perspective, anyway.

"Mello! Over here!" Mello heard Matt's voice yell. It sounded happier than Mello thought Matt could ever muster, and that was really happy! There was also a slight drawl in the words. Mello knew the younger had taken up smoking, and had kept quiet about it, but this seemed worse.

Mello found that the voice had originated from a black door he told himself he'd never go into. A black door with warning signs all over in bright red ink... or at least he hoped it was ink. Why did he hope it was ink...? MAYBE BECAUSE THE ROOM BELONGED TO BACKUP!

Yes, Backup, better known as B for short. But we know the future version better, but we'll get to that later.

So, now Mello felt that something bad was happening to his best friend. He practically kicked the door open, and was hit by a large cloud of smoke. Mello felt someone pull his arm into the room. The hand was thinner than Matt's so Mello could only come up with one option. B.

"What the hell, Matt, did you have to get him here?" yelled B from inside the stuffy room.

"Are you guys smoking something you shouldn't be?" Mello asked.

"Yea..." Matt said, collapsing.

"Matt?!" Mello yelled. Right before he fainted.

"Oh, bloody hell..." B said before he joined the other two in sleepy land.

*Cue swirly effect*

Mello woke up to see Matt and B laughing their heads off. B was in a red suit and black top hat, while Matt was in a black fluffy vest, pale pink and purple striped top, as well as matching cat ears and tail.

"What the hell are you guys laughing at?!" Mello screamed.

"Oh, nothing... M-Alice!" Matt laughed.

Mello looked down at what he was wearing; and nearly broke the sound barrier. He was wearing a light blue short skirt and a matching short sleeve cut off tee.

"Fucking hell, what's that cat doing here?" B asked.

It was a little white cat, aside from the black tail, ears, and paws, as well as the bag like pattern under its eyes. Its eyes were big, black, and looked almost soulless.

"What the hell is that thing doing here?" Beyond, in his top hat, asked, annoyed.

"Hey! I'm a cat! Don't be an ass, Mad Murder!"

"Wanna say that again? Cheshire-Matt?!" Beyond, 'Mad Murder', yelled at Matt, 'Cheshire-Matt'.

"Is it just me, or is this a fucked up version of Alice in Wonderland?" 'M-Alice' asked, petting the cat that had randomly appeared.

'Hey, you, Matt, talk,' said the cat.

"The cat can fucking talk?!" Cheshire-Matt said, shocked.

"No, fuck-tard. You're a cat, so you speak cat," M-Alice said.

'It's me, L!' the cat said.

"It's L..." Matt said to the gang of people.

"What the fuck? L's a cat!?" Mello asked, picking up L-Dina.

"Yea... that looks like a cat version of L, now that you mention it," the Mad Murder says, petting L-Dina.

L-Dina bit the Mad Murder and hid behind Cheshire-Matt, hissing at the red eyed double. BB looked sad, but he soon got over it.

"Ok, this is a really fucked up version of Alice and Wonderland!" Mello said as a white rabbit bounded out of the bushes.

"Ok, before it says anything- because we know it will –I really think that might be Near," Cheshire-Matt said, picking up L-Dina.

"So my surprise is ruined," Near-Rabbit almost, _almost_, pouted and spoke in a monotone.

Suddenly Mad Murder was cutting up a playing card, from who-knows-where.

"Why are you cutting up my queen of hearts?" Near-Rabbit asked.

"Feel like it," the insane person responsible for this crazy trip responded. He had just finished cutting the card into quarters and was now poking the eyes out with a needle.

"Am I the only one who wants to go back to Wammy's?" M-Alice asked.

"I like my ears and tail..." Cheshire-Matt said.

'B just found unlimited cake,' L-Dina said.

"B found unlimited cake," Cheshire-Matt translated.

"And I also found jam!" Mad Murder shouted from...somewhere.

"I like being a rabbit," Near-Rabbit said.

"You just want to go back because you're in a dress," Cheshire-Matt summed up.

"Well, Wammy's is better than 'M-Alice in Wammy-Land'!" M-Alice shouted. "Good Night!"

M-Alice stormed off and fell asleep in a pile of leaves. Cheshire-Matt shrugged and fell asleep alongside his friend. L-Dina also joined them with Mad Murder, who was finished playing with the card. Near-Rabbit, not wanting to be awake alone in the strange world, also fell asleep.

*cue swirly effect...again*

Mello woke up again, this time back in B's bedroom. B and Matt woke up as well.

"How'd L and Near get here?" Matt asked.

"Ignore that. Am I the only one who had a weird dream?" Mello asked.

"M-Alice in Wammy-Land?" B asked.

"Uh-huh."

Near and L them woke up.

"What were you three smoking?" L asked.

"Hey! Only those two were smoking! I just walked in and passed out!" Mello yelled.

"I'd believe him, L. Mello would never do anything like that," Near spoke in monotone.

"I miss the unlimited jam," B randomly sniffled.

"Well, I think we all need to go get a real night's sleep. Before we pass out...again," Matt said to everyone, pulling Mello off the floor.

"Yeah... Good night people," B said, looking at L very...B-like.

"Good bye," Near said, leaving after Mello and Matt.

"Well, good bye, B," L said to B.

"Ah, no, L. You ain't going anywhere," B smirked.

L looked at B with a very, _very_, worried expression. It was one of those moments when you would be thinking _dun dun dunnnnn! _or the Jaws theme.

L started backing away from B. B pulled something silver out of a draw. L had a feeling that this wouldn't end well.

"Would you like cake?" B asked, turning around with cake on a _silver_ plate.

"Yes B."

Hah! You people were thinking B would attempt to murder L, didn't you? Well, this is another one of those random fics that I got from a Touch My Mafia picture. Again, GO WATCH TOUCH MY MAFIA IF YOU HAVEN'T! As long as you aren't in class, or around people. You will have a very hard time not laughing. I recently watched 'The Adventures of Pantless Light' which were funny as! Can you find the LABB Murders reference? Anyway, I am not a member of TMM and I do not own Death Note. Buh-bi!


End file.
